Chicken Bones
by rubberducky2010
Summary: A buried town, a buried secret. Brennan must help Booth before he gets buried alive.
1. Chapter 1

Good Bones

(Bones Fanfiction)

Rating: PG-13

Characters: All

This is my first attempt at Bones fanfiction. And, since this is a relatively new category and TV show, I'm sure to go off canon at some point in the story.

Chicken Bones

Booth was a man on a mission. He stalked into the Medico-Legal Laboratory and came to a full and complete stop right behind Angela. Jack, Zack and Angela were in a heated debate of some sort.

"I'm telling you both, Moe is Larry's brother."

"He is not Zack! Larry is related to Shemp and Curly is Moe's brother."

Booth cleared his throat. Angela jumped and turned. Zack smiled. Jack looked annoyed.

"Can we help you Agent Booth?" Angela turned her best smile on the grouchy looking agent.

"Bones here?"

"She's in her office."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Jack snarked. "Geez, what's up his..."

Booth turned suddenly.

"By the way, you are all wrong. Moe, Curly and Shemp are brothers, Larry is a friend and I think Joe might be a cousin."

Then, Booth turned and strode into Brennan's office.

Zack smiled. "He's my hero."

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

This is my first attempt at Bones fiction. It may go off canon at some point, but hey, it's fiction, right?

Booth/Brennan

PG-13

Chicken Bones

Part Two

Brennan was under her desk when she heard the outer office door open. She did a miraculous 360 turn and poked her head out.

"Booth."

"Bones?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you under your desk?"

"I dropped something."

"Need some help?"

"Nope, got it. Thanks."

Brennan pulled herself upright via the rolling chair behind the desk. Booth put his hand on the backrest to keep it from rolling as Brennan stood and dusted her slacks and smoothed her hair.

Booth quirked an eyebrow.

"What is it? Where are we going now, Booth?"

Booth flipped open the manila file folder and sat it on Brennan's desk.

"Shopping mall."

"I don't shop."

"You do so shop."

"How do you know?"

"Everyone shops."

"I'm not everyone."

"Do you have to be so difficult?"

"Do you have to answer my statements with questions?"

Booth sighed and shuffled the pictures in the file.

"Okay. It's not exactly a mall…yet. The company that is building the mall called in an archeologist to excavate the area just in case there were any…you know."

"No. I don't."

"Bones, Bones."

"Oh."

"Anyway, apparently he found some."

Booth threw a glossy 8 X 10 on the polished surface of Brennan's desk.

"Okay," she said, "let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

I hope this version turns out okay. I'm using my Mac. I usually write my  
stories at work G , using a PC with Windows. If it has those funny little  
symbols in it, I will repost a clean version when I get back to work.

Sorry for the delay in story parts, the other job (I have two), is only on  
Friday and Saturday. 

Thanks again for all your reviews! It's great that Bones has so many  
fans! I think it's one of the best shows on television this season!

Chicken Bones

Part Three 

Booth was annoyed.

"Are we there yet?" 

"No."

"Are you sure? Wasn't that the exit back there?"

"No."

"'Cause I could have sworn..."

"For the last time, Ms. Montenegro...no!"

"Gee, you don't have to be so grumpy."

"Why are you here anyway? Don't you have some...thing you have to  
animate or computate or piece together? Doesn't the kid usually come  
with us on these kinds of things?" 

"For your information Mister Grouchypants, Zack is on another case,  
Jack is out of town on family business and besides, Brennan asked me  
to come with you."

"For what purpose?"

"As a liason..."

"A lesion?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"Just what exactly are you liason-ing?"

Angela was quiet for a moment.

"I'm here to make sure that you and Brennan don't kill each other."

Booth looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Oh. Okay, then."

A few moments passed. Brennan was still studying the photos that  
Booth had given her a few hours earlier. Angela was bored.

"Just what is that smell, Booth?"

"What smell, Angela?" 

"You. That smell. It's...nice."

Booth shifted in the driver's seat, looking very uncomfortable. Brennan   
was still preoccupied with the pictures that Booth had passed to her  
regarding the crime or supposed crime scene at a rural farm just  
outside of DC.

"Uh, thanks."

Booth felt a cool draft behind his left ear.

"Hey!" 

"What?"

"Did you just...sniff me?" 

Angela smiled and rested her forearms on Booth's headrest. 

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't...I mean...you just don't go around sniffing people. It's just  
not...right." 

Booth leaned forward in his seat.

"What? You have a problem with a woman enjoying your...hmm, how  
should I put it? Your...ambience?"

"Just keep your nose out of my ambience, okay? I mean, it's just not  
right."

Angela leaned back and stared out the side window of the SUV,  
pouting. 

"Fine. But I'd let you sniff me."

Booth glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Thanks. I think." 

"You're right." Brennan agreed.

"I am?" Booth asked, confused.

"Yeah, I mean, these pictures aren't close enough. I can't tell what kind  
of bones these are. I mean, they could be human, yet...bear."

"I said that hours ago."

"I know, I just didn't want you to think that I agreed with you too early.  
Your head might swell or something."

Booth looked in the mirror at Angela who was smugly smiling.

She mouth the word... LIASON. 


	4. Chapter 4

My beta-reader (me) sucks! G 

Angela actually mouth-ed the word LIASON. 

Anyway…I hope you enjoyed Part Three.

On to Chapter Four!

I'm really sorry that they are so short. I am a County Librarian (the second job) and every once and a while, one of those darned patrons comes to the desk and interrupts me! Jeez! What do they want to check out books for? Why don't they just read online fan fiction?

Chicken Bones

(Still in the car…)

"Are we there yet?" Angela asked sheepishly.

Booth glared into the rearview mirror.

"For the fifth time…NO!"

"Actually it was the fourth time. The fifth didn't count, Angela was just commenting on the cattle truck that was in the lane ahead of us. She asked, 'are we dead yet', I assume it was because the smell was killing her."

"Why thank you for that accounting Dr. Brennan. I'll be sure to keep an accurate count of Angela's annoying questions next time."

"You're welcome," Brennan smiled.

"Shouldn't you be looking at those pictures or something?" Booth groused.

"I've finished. And, by the way, these horrible shots must have been taken with a cheap, disposable camera and not a Minolta as you claimed."

Booth rolled his eyes.

"I gotta go…," Angela whined.

"Didn't you go before you left the Institute?"

"That was at least thirty miles and twenty arguments ago."

"Fine," Booth sighed. "First densely wooded area we come to…"

"I am NOT going to…to you-know in the forest."

"Bears do it all the time. It's a natural thing. As a matter of fact, did you know that the black bear marks a spot…?"

"Brennan, you are not helping…"

Booth opened a flask of bottled water and slowly poured it into a cup he had sitting near the dash.

"Funny, Agent Booth. Very, funny. But if the back seat of this expensive FBI SUV is wet later on…I'm not mopping it up."

Booth sighed and took the next exit.

They arrived at Ernie's Bar-B-Q and Pottery Barn in three minutes. Angela was out of the car before Booth put it in park.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it's taken me so long to add the next chapter was giving me heck last weekend and I had to give up.

Chicken Bones

Angela just about dove through the door of the Bar-B-Que and PotteryBarn in her search for a place to pottery, I mean, potty. Booth and Brennan were taking their time. Brennan carefully exited the SUV, still studying the photos that Booth had given her hours and miles before.

Booth shook off his expensive jacket. He adjusted the crick in his neck and the kink in his spine. He then raised his arms above his head, stretched and yawned loudly jolting Brennan out of her reverie.

"We're here!"

"Where's here?"

"Only the best B-B-Q joint in the western hemisphere."

"What about the other hemispheres?"

"Bones, you haven't lived until you've tried Ernie's gut-buster Bar-B-Que sandwiches."

"I don't think I like Bar-B-Que."

"Have you ever eaten Bar-B-Que?"

"Well, if I have, I doubt that it's anything like Ernie's gut-busting Bar-B-Que sandwiches."

Booth grinned. "That's my girl."

When they walked up the rickety stairs onto the porch of the almost but-not-quite dilapidated, vintage wood shed like restaurant, Booth noticed the wonderful smell of seasoned, cured, marinated, wood smoked beef that assaulted his hungry senses.

"I'm telling ya Bones, this is the life."

Brennan squinted in the dim light of the restaurant. Several unsavory looking patrons were sitting at semi-upright tables that were sparsely decorating the room.

"Low life?"

"Don't be nasty Bones, just soak up the ambience…"

"Speaking of ambience…that bathroom reeks…"

"Hi, Angela. Feel better now?"

"I didn't sit."

"I didn't need to know that."

"Shall we take a booth, Booth?"

"Funny Bones. Funny."

"Funny Bones. That's cute."

"Just slide over, Angela."

Angela slid over in the booth next to Booth. Brennan took the opposite side.

A waitress in a low-cut pink uniform sauntered over to the table and handed the trio their menus.

"What'll I get you folks to drink?"

Brennan smiled at the red-haired matron.

"Diet coke, please."

"Ain't got no diet."

Brennan was about to say something about the woman's horrible manglification of the English language when Booth gently kicked her shin with his shoe.

"Oh. Oh. Well how about some iced tea then."

"Gotcha. You?"

Angela peeled apart the sticky menu and found the beverage listing.

"Lemonade, please. Oh, and could you please place a wedge of lemon on the side of the glass. Oh, and could you please only place two cubes of ice in the…ow!"

Booth smiled at the waitress who fluttered her giant butterfly wing eyelashes at him. Angela rubbed the side of her leg where Booth had jabbed her with a spoon.

"And what can I get for you…honey?"

The word 'honey'dripped from her red, shiny lips and Booth was given a right hearty glimpse of the waitresses' amble busom.

"Uh."

"Booth will have a glass of tea. Won't you, honey?"

Angela nudged Booth with her bony elbow.

Booth cleared his throat.

"Could I please have a glass of tea?"

"You can have anything you want, sugar. I'll be right back with your drinks."

Angela mimicked the waitress.

"Oh you can have annnyyythinnggg you want…yeah, she'd probably give you something too…something venereal…"


	6. Chapter 6

Hi again! Like I stated before, I am very sorry that the chapters are so short. I'm writing the chapters at work and every once in a while, I have to actually do something that resembles something work-like (which sucks!). Anyway, I will eventually get to the meat of the story. Speaking of meat, Fanwoman…I hear ya! Pork fat rules! (I love Emeril)

Thank you to all my reviewers for your great comments. I enjoy hearing from you and look forward to more reviews.

Chicken Bones

Part Six

The red-haired, red-lipped waitress arrived at the trio's table with a server full of drinks.

"Here ya go, sweetie." She leered at Booth, dousing him with more bosom than Angela thought possible.

She plunked Angela and Brennan's drinks down before them and pulled out her order book.

"What can I get ya'll to eat?"

Booth smiled and slapped his menu closed.

"Ernie's Great Big Gut Buster, please. Oh, and a side of Greasy Fries."

Angela swore she could feel her arteries clogging at the mention of 'Greasy Fries'.

"Don't you have anything with less than 1 million calories?"

The waitress picked a tooth with a long red fingernail.

"Yeah, we got water."

"Something without bacteria in it?"

Booth poked Angela with the spoon again.

"She'll have Big Ernie's Taco Salad please."

The waitress smiled at Booth and tweaked his cheek.

"Okay. And you, miss?"

Angela looked over at Brennan. Brennan was very particular about what she ate. She could practically give a four page lecture on how the body processes Jello alone.

"I'll have one of Ernie's Gut Busters too. Is it pork? Because, the best kind of bar-b-que is pork. Oh, and I'd like onions and pickles and Ernie's Big Bad Bar-B-Que Sauce on the side. But, I'll have to pass on the Greasy Fries…maybe some of Ernie's Piled High Potato Salad?"

Booth's mouth was hanging open.

The waitress smiled a toothy grin and took the menus away.

Angela and Booth stared at Brennan.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

A few minutes later, the trio was engrossed in the gross photographs of the supposed crime scene.

"What do you make of those bones, Bones?"

"Eww, do you two really have to discuss icky stuff at the table?"

"Angela, we are here to work. We came all this way to find..."

Booth stopped in mid-sentence as the waitress came to place their orders on the gnarled table.

"Here ya go, eat up."

Angela's eyes widened at the huge salad the waitress had placed in front of her. The taco bowl was twice the size of a Mexican sombrero.

"Whoa."

She leaned over to Booth.

"You're gonna have to help me finish this."

The waitress then plunked down a plate containing a sandwich that was the relative size of a football with all the trimmings.

"Never mind."

Brennan's sandwich was place in front of her. She looked very appraisingly at it and smiled.

"Looks good."

Booth and Angela grinned, there was no way that Brennan was going to finish that plate.

From behind the heaping mound of homemade potato salad, Brennan cleared her throat.

"Okay, these photos show what looks like the remains of an old farm…see this line…it indicates a fence line…perhaps these are cattle remains…"

Angela was turning green.

"Do you have to use the word…'remains'?

"Didn't the archaeologist know anything?"

"Actually, the archaeologist they sent out there was a student. The land is being cleared for a shopping mall. Apparently, the developer wasn't trying very hard to obtain a permit to begin construction."

"Hey, that's the old Johnson place…"

The waitress had returned with more of Brennan's order, including the bowl of onions and pickles.

"The Johnson place?"

"Yeah, it's about ten or so mileswest ofhere. See that buildin' over there? That's part of the house…"

"What can you tell us about the Johnsons?"

"Well, they ain't been seen around these parts in a good long while. Been about six months or so, give or take. Anyway, folks around here just figgered they'd up and left."

"Why would they…'up and leave'?" Booth asked.

"Well, nobody rightly knows. There was this fella a while back, he was trying to buy out a lot of these farms. Nobody wanted to sell at first, but the guy made some good deals, some folks got a lot of money out of it. Old man Johnson didn't want to sell at all. Said his family had done had that farm for hunnerds of years, wasn't about to sell it."

"And, did he?"

"Guess so, nobody's seen hide no hair of old man Johnson or his family since then…" the waitress shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you know the fella's name?"

"Malrey, somethin' like that. Can usually find him over there at the bank."

"Thanks…" Booth looked at the waitresses nametag, "Betty."

"You're welcome, sweetcakes." The waitress left with a healthy sway of hips.

"I think she likes you, Booth."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, she's got your number."

"What do you mean by that?"

"She's got your number. I gave it to her a while ago."

Booth choked on a greasy fry.

Angela smacked him on the back and looked in her drink.

"What is this thing in my drink? I think I'll take it back to the lab and have Zack analyze the contents."

"It's a lemon wedge, Angela." Brennan stated.

"That's not a wedge."

"Well, it's not a whole wedge. It's more like half a wedge. It's a wedgie."

Angela snorted.

"A wedgie, Brennan?"

"Yes. A shortened form of a wedge. Wedgie."

"Do you even know what a wedgie is? You can't call a piece of lemon a wedgie."

"Why not?"

"Because a wedgie is different. A wedgie is something that's given to…people like you. I'm surprised you never got one."

"So what you're saying Booth, is that you've never gotten a wedgie."

"No, what I am saying is, is that I am the type of person who gives wedgies to people like you."

"Oh. I think I've had one of those."

While Booth and Angela pushed their plates away with a lot left still to eat, Brennan was still hard at work on her sandwich and potato salad, still analyzing the photos.

"Oh, I think I'm gonna hurl!" Angela groaned.

Booth loosened his belt and leaned back in the seat.

"That was some good grub."

"You're starting to sound like the locals."

"Sure enough?"

Angela rolled her eyes and caught the gaze of a particularly gnarled looking man who was sitting by the window staring their way.

"Don't look now, but Festus is staring at us."

"Festus?" Brennan asked.

"Gunsmoke…" Booth added.

"So?"

"He looks kind of…menacing, doesn't he?"

"I don't know.' Booth said, 'I could take him. He's kind of puny."

"Don't impune someone's puni-ness."

"Puni-ness, Bones?"

"I think the sandwich has gotten to her."

"I think you're right, Angela. Anyone got any of them Rolaids?"

"That's question wasn't grammatically correct, Bones."

"Shut up and pass me the antacid before I pass gas."

"I can't believe you just said that, Bones."

"I'll be right back."

Brennan headed for the Ladies Room while Angela nudged Booth.

"Festus is staring at us again."

Just then, three more scraggly looking men joined Festus at his table.

"Great, there's Marshall Dillon, Cletus and Uncle Jesse."

"Cletus and Uncle Jesse?"

"Yeah, Dukes of Hazzard."

"Oh, yeah. Daisy Duke.

"You would remember her. Speaking of Daisy, here comes her mother."

Betty, the waitress sidled over and placed the ticket on the table. She leaned close to Booth's ear and whispered.

"You'd best be careful out there honey, some of these local boys don't cotton to strangers here in these parts."

Booth smiled and kissed Betty's hand.

"Thanks, darlin'."

Betty chuckled and left, sashaying all the way to the kitchen.

"What did she say?"

"You don't want to know. Okay, Angela…go before we leave, I don't want to have to stop again along the way."

"Fine…_Dad_."

A few minutes later, Booth was already in the SUV talking on his cell to someone at the Bureau.

"Hey Brennan, did you read the wall in the ladies room?" Angela asked as she climbed into the back seat.

"Huh?"

"It said, for a good time call…Seeley Booth…555-…"

"It did not say that."

"But…"

"…It said, 'for a _great_ time…"

Brennan winked at Angela who was giggling when she sat behind Booth.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing at all…"

As the SUV drove out of the parking lot, so did four men in a old, rusty GMC.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi! I know it's been a while since I updated this story…well, it's been about 8 or so months…anyway, I thought I'd update a little since I have access to a real computer for a few minutes in between shifts at my job. Yuck!

I hope I get to update more often…I might be getting a new computer soon! Yay, me!

Anyway, here it goes…hope it's not too lame. :)

Chicken Bones

Angela, Booth and Brennan jumped into the SUV and were on their way.

"Hey Brennan, you okay?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask, Ange?"

"I mean, are you okay. After all, you did eat the _whole_ thing."

"Yeah. I thought you were gonna lick the plate." Booth chimed in.

"Well, it was good. I like home cooking like that. It beats vending machines anyday."

"I hear ya, sweetie. Oh, speaking of sweeties…Did you get Betty's number Booth?"

"C'mon, she was a nice lady…and she did have a nice smile."

"Booth, she was missing at least 3 teeth."

"I counted four."

"Bones…" Booth warned.

"What? The upper maxilli were..."

"Hey, you guys…" Angela leaned forward in the seat. "I think the Dukes and Roscoe are following us."

Brennan turned and looked towards the back windows.

Booth looked in the rearview mirror and pressed his foot to the pedal.

"Okay ladies, hold on to something…"


	8. Chapter 8

Well, it's been almost a year now, so I decided that I'd better update this story. Thanks to all of you who have written the great comments. Sorry it's taken me so long to get this story going again. Hope you enjoy this really short part. More to come soon!

Chicken Bones

Chapter 8

"Hold on to something!" Booth yelled.

Angela sat back in her seat and strapped in. She braced herself for the wild ride that she was sure Booth was going to give them.

Brennan on the other hand was grinning, ready for the chase, looking in the rearview mirror at the goons following them, knowing that they'd soon be eating dust. She braced her feet on the floor, tucking her hair behind her ears and…

Suddenly, the SUV came to a screeching halt, Brennan and Angela pitched forward as the SUV skidded and fishtailed to a dead stop.

The three hicks in the pickup truck swerved severely to avoid crashing into the back of the SUV and, much to Booth's pleasure, plowed right off the dirt road and into a bar ditch full of murky water.

Angela was the first to speak.

"Ow."

Booth turned to look at Angela.

"You okay?"

"Well…no Booth, I'm not. I think I may have peed my pants, okay?"

"Well, as long as your bodily functions are functioning…Bones? Bones, you okay?"

"Actually, I think that one guy is signaling you to come over there and help him. See how he's pointing his finger…"

Angela leaned to look out Brennan's window.

"Honey, he's not pointing with that finger, he's gesturing."

"Oh."

Booth put the car into drive.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi again! Thanks for the reviews! You guys are great! And, very, very patient! I have to apologize for this part, it in no way has anything to do with the plot of the story. It's mostly just a filler until I can figure out what going to happen next!

Chicken Bones

Part 9

Angela turned in her seat as Booth drove down the dusty road and glanced out of the rear window.

"Do you think those hicks from the sticks are gonna try and follow us?"

Booth looked in the rearview mirror.

"Nah. It's gonna take them a while to get out that ditch…"

"Yeah, but when they do…"

"I'll sic Bones on em', she'll do her hi-ya thing and kick their butts."

Just then, Brennan belched.

Angela wrinkled her nose.

"Good one, Sweetie."

"Better out than in, my Pappy always use to say…ain't that right Bones?"

"Your Pappy, Booth?"

"Yeah, my ol'…"

Brennan let another one loose.

"You okay, Bones? Wanna recite the alphabet while you're at it?"

"I feel much better now. Must have been the potato salad."

Booth belched.

Brennan crossed her arms.

"I give it a 7.5."

"7.5? That was big, it had power behind it…how can you call it 7.5."

"I've done bigger."

"Have not."

"Have too."

"Prove it!"

But just before Brennan launched into her belching recitation of the bones of the hand, Angela shouted.

"Stop! You two are totally grossing me out!"

Brennan turned towards Angela.

"What's wrong, Ange?"

Angela crossed her arms and glared at Booth's smiling face in the rearview.

"It's just so gross! How can you two have a belching contest! It's just so…eww!"

Brennan sighed and broke into her 'Dr. Brennan' voice.

"Angela, it's a bodily function. Much like flatulence…"

"Don't even go there, Sweetie."

"Ange…seriously, when the body builds up too much gas it must find a way to release…"

"Look hun, spare me the bodily functions lecture, okay. Booth scared the crap out of me earlier with the whole hillbilly ordeal, okay?"

Brennan glanced at Booth who shrugged.

"She's just jealous. I'll bet she can't even get to the letter 'c'."


	10. Chapter 10

OMG! I finally updated this story! Sorry that it's been so long. Again, sorry that the chapters have been so short. Thanks for all the favorites and reviews, here's the next chapter, I hope it doesn't disappoint!

Chicken Bones

Booth/Brennan, Angela

Chapter Ten

A few more miles down an old, dusty dirt road…

Angela sighed. "Are we there yet?"

Brennan looked at the GPS. "Almost. About 300 feet to the right, Booth."

Three hundred feet later, a man with a hardhat walked into view.

"Looks like this is it," Booth said.

Hardhat waved the SUV into a vacant looking lot. Several construction workers were sitting on various pieces of heavy equipment.

Booth rolled to a stop and rolled down the window and flashed his badge.

"Seeley Booth, FBI. Doctor Temperance Brennan and Angela Montenegro with the Jeffersonian."

Hardhat looked unimpressed.

"Yeah, I know. Look Agent Booth, my men need to get back to work. Can you make this quick?"

Booth shifted into park and exited the vehicle.

"Don't hit him Booth, his mandible looks extremely well formed…"

Booth looked into the window towards Brennan.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Brennan shrugged. "You might hurt your hand."

Booth smirked. "Thanks for that, Bones."

"No problem."

Booth turned towards Hardhat, Booth towered over him by a good six or seven inches.

Hardhat looked a little more impressed this time.

"Why don't you and your boys go and have some lunch, okay? Give the Doc and Angela some time to clear up this mess, okay?"

"There's this great restaurant…" Brennan yelled out the window, earning a glare from Booth.

Hardhat rolled his eyes and nodded towards the crew.

"Okay boys, lunch time!"

"Thanks." Booth looked at Hardhat's nametag. "Norman."

Norman shrugged and headed towards his truck. The crew drove away in a cloud of caliche and exhaust.

Brennan and Angela climbed out of the SUV and joined Booth at the edge of what looked like the foundations of an old house.

"Is this it?" Angela asked.

Brennan bent down near a couple of wooden planks and picked up a skull.

"Yep, I'd say we found the right spot."

To be continued…


End file.
